The longest way to represent a date

2026-03-14T00:00:00Z

The other day, someone on IRC posed this question: “What is the longest way to represent a date using any means possible that isn’t just repeated filler?”

Some people jumped for writing the date out in languages that had longer translations. My immediate reaction was instead to suggest an obnoxious string-based representation of a unix timestamp: “one second after one second after one second after … midnight on January 1st 1970”. It’s very repetitive, but it’s not filler: taking out any of the repetitions would change the value. Effectively it’s a successor function for unix timestamps, writ long. Some quick napkin maths suggests the full string representation would be around 30GiB¹.

An obvious approach to make it bigger is to make it more precise. If we do the same sort of successor function for milliseconds it’d be a bit over 1000x longer². It actually ends up being just over 35TiB³.

There’s no reason to stop there, though. You can step down to microseconds, nanoseconds, and so on… or… we can just skip right to the end. How about: “one oscillation of the caesium-133 hyperfine transition frequency after one oscillation of the caesium-133 hyperfine transition frequency after … midnight on January 1st 1970”? There are over 9 billion of those every second, and the phrasing is wordy. That comes out to almost 1ZiB⁴. If we pooled all the data storage on the planet together we could save a couple hundred of these timestamps.

One final step, then: why use the unix epoch when we could use the universe’s own⁵? We’re something around 4×10^17 seconds past the big bang, so… hold on, I need to look up some units… that’d be over 200,000 yobibytes⁶. There’s not actually a standard prefix for that order of magnitude, according to Wikipedia. I think it should be 200 robibytes. Does anyone have a contact at the IEC?

That is a big number. Is it impossibly big? If we wanted to track our current time, we’d need to write around 600GiB/s⁷ to disk. That’s a bit more than we can manage at the minute, but isn’t completely outrageous. What about storage? Apparently hard drives require around a million atoms to store a bit of data. There’s some research showing it’s possible to use as few as 12, but I don’t think it’s anything that can be used at scale anytime soon⁸. So just for the direct data storage, not counting all the other infrastructure you need for a disk drive to work we’d need around 10^36 atoms. If we sourced our atoms for our local paperclip maximiser we’d need around 200 trillion paperclips. For just one timestamp.

On the plus side, this timestamp format would compress wonderfully.

17 bytes of repetition * 1773528583 seconds ~= 3×10^10. ↩︎
There’d be a thousand times more repetitions, and each one would have the extra five bytes from the “milli” prefix. ↩︎
22 bytes of repetition * 1773528583000 milliseconds ~= 3×10^13. ↩︎
72 bytes of repetition * 1773528583 seconds * 9192631770 oscillations per second ~= 1×10^21. ↩︎
Other than it being impractical, not known to a decent accuracy, and the myriad other problems, of course. ↩︎
72 bytes of repetition * 4×10^17 seconds * 9192631770 oscillations per second ~= 3×10^29. ↩︎
72 bytes of repetition * 9192631770 oscillations per second ~= 6×10^11. ↩︎
Not that we could scale conventional drives up this much, either. ↩︎

Upgrading the RAM in a Dell G15 laptop

2023-07-29T00:00:00Z

The Dell G15

I currently use a Dell G15 laptop for work. It has served me well for a little over a year, but recently it has been struggling a little with my day-to-day workload. It came with 32GB of RAM — the highest possible specification at the time¹ — but that is apparently no longer enough for me.

For a recent project, I was working on a Rust library used in an Android app. That meant running the usual glut of Android tools (Android Studio, an emulator and at least one Gradle daemon) alongside a normal IDE (IntelliJ IDEA). Throw in a web browser and a couple of electron apps, and I often managed to use all 32GB.

When you start swapping memory out to an encrypted disk — even an SSD — it doesn’t make for great performance. At first, I tried to work around this by enabling the Linux out-of-memory (OOM) killer, but it turns out that it’s not too good with Electron apps: it will kill the large browser process, but then the small Electron wrapper will just respawn it.

Can it be upgraded or not?

The obvious solution to not having enough RAM is to add more RAM. A quick look in the manual showed this might not be possible, though. The manual includes the following “Memory specifications” table:

Description	Values
Memory slots	Two SODIMM slots
Memory type	DDR5
Memory speed	4800
Maximum memory configuration	32GB
Minimum memory configuration	8GB
Memory size per slot	8GB or 16GB
Memory configurations supported	8 GB, 1 x 8 GB, DDR5, 4800 MHz 16 GB, 1 x 16 GB, DDR5, 4800 MHz 16 GB, 2 x 8 GB, DDR5, 4800 MHz, dual-channel 32 GB, 2 x 16 GB, DDR5, 4800 MHz, dual-channel

That unambiguously says that an upgrade from 32GB is not possible. I gave up.

Later though, I was complaining about memory issues to a friend, and he pointed out a Dell forum thread where a couple of people claim to have successfully installed dual-channel 32GB modules. Since the alternative was getting an entire new PC after only a year, I decided to give it a go.

The upgrade attempt

I ordered a pair of Crucial 32GB DDR5-4800 SODIMMs, and after they turned up dismantled the laptop. The G15 comes apart pretty normally: there are uncovered screws on the bottom holding the lower part of the case on. With those removed and some gentle prying, it pops off, and you get access to the battery, GPU and motherboard.

The first thing I saw was this:

The G15 motherboard adamantly proclaiming that it doesn’t want 32GB SODIMMs

Not one but two labels that indicate it will only accept 8GB or 16GB modules. Oh well, what’s the worst that can happen?

Oops?

I dutifully installed the new modules, reconnected the battery and put the case back together. I pressed the power button, and… nothing. None of the usual garish lights that immediately come on, no screen output, just a dead laptop. After reading some more of the user manual, I found that there is a tiny status LED on the side next to the ethernet port. Forcing the laptop to power off and back on again, the status LED blinked a distress code at me: 2 amber blinks, 4 white blinks. The manual says that is — unsurprisingly — a memory fault.

I figured at this point that the manual and labels on the motherboard were probably right. I took the laptop apart again, reinstalled the original 2x16GB modules, reassembled it, and pressed the power button. It didn’t boot. I don’t spend a lot of time fiddling inside computers, but I’ve done it enough that I’m reasonably confident I can’t entirely break a computer while swapping some RAM modules. I took to Googling², and found an interesting article that said Dell laptops don’t like to boot after RAM changes unless you clear the CMOS by popping out the battery for 15 minutes.

I opened the laptop up, and looked around for the CMOS battery. There wasn’t one. Turns out they don’t exist any more. I left the main battery disconnected for a while to see if it would help, and it didn’t.

Unexpected success

I started to get worried: if I couldn’t fix this, I wouldn’t be able to work until I got a new PC, and that wasn’t really in my budget at the minute. I sat reading old forum threads and help guides³, none of which were actually useful. Out of nowhere, though, the laptop booted up.

Naturally, I immediately shut the laptop down again, opened it up, and switched back to the new RAM modules. Then I turned it on again and sat waiting. After about 15 minutes of it looking totally dead, it turned on and showed a BIOS warning about the hardware configuration being changed. It then booted perfectly normally, and all 64GB of RAM was visible and usable.

My theory is that the forum threads were right: Dell laptops are funny about RAM upgrades. But somehow in removing the physical CMOS battery, they’ve kept the same “you have to wait 15 minutes” behaviour just without any indication that’s what’s happening. Regardless, I now have enough RAM even for the greediest of IDEs and Electron apps.