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Monthly Meanderings: July 2026

2026-08-01T00:00:00Z

Another month, another roundup post. This month has been very… exercise-y. Which is, for the record, not normal for me. For the previous year my only source of exercise has basically been walking, but that’s not a great fitness activity for me. When my regular walks entered the 10-15km territory it got more and more annoying to find the time and/or an interesting route.

I also managed to injure my knee while walking through a particularly muddy field, and spent a few months going slightly stir crazy. Coming out of that I started running three times a week, bought a bicycle, and added in some strength exercises along with the ones the physio recommended. If you told me a few months ago that I’d be annoyed at not being able to exercise too much on rest days I’d think you were mad.

Website updates and other projects

Before we talk even more about exercise, let’s do the usual topics I cover in these posts. The only website update this month has been a post about… exercise. Maybe I have a problem. Anyway, in Tracking PBs without the dark patterns I talk about building a slimmed-down, single-player Strava to track my personal bests, without all the nonsense that annoys me.

Other than the PB tracker, I’ve not been working much on personal projects. I’ve not really had any other itches that need scratching, just the usual background noise of dependency updates and other project maintenance.

Entertainment

Behold, the section where I normally talk about the films, TV programmes, and board games that have kept me entertained this month: […]. Yep, not a single one.

I have played a few games, though. A friend and I finally got around to trying out Escape Simulator 2, and it’s just as good as the original. The rooms feel a bit more detailed, and there are a few cool interactions that probably wouldn’t be possible in the old version. There’s also a hard mode for all the rooms which we’ve not yet tried, but sounds like it’ll keep us amused for a bit longer.

I’ve also been playing a bit of World of Warcraft, but it’s now in the awkward stage where I’ve done most things I can reasonably do this season, and there’s not really any point in doing anything else. All the gear will become mostly irrelevant in a few weeks when season two releases, and we’ve hit the major milestone achievements for Mythic+. Feels a bit anticlimactic to get to a fairly good stage and then just… not play for a bit.

Fitness

Given how much exercise I’ve done, it probably deserves its own section in these monthly posts. I have the vague idea of aiming to run a marathon before I turn 40 (i.e., within around 15 months). That’s both scary and yet not completely impossible. I’m going to work up through the distances and see how it goes. A 5k at the start of September, 10k in November, half marathon around Easter next year, then a full marathon just before my birthday in October. That way even if it gets too tough or something goes wrong I’ll have accomplished something.

New hobbies mean new toys. My bike is nothing particularly special: a hybrid from Halfords that’s about one step up from entry-level. But it gets the job done, and has helped me remember how much I enjoy cycling. The infrastructure around here is pretty terrible, though. There are lots of little bits of multi-use paths and a few dedicated bike lanes, but they’re not joined up or signed well in the slightest. In most cases it’s easier to just stay on the road and deal with the traffic. It’s a bit sad that they’ve spent time and money to do something and it’s not very useful.

On the running side, I picked up a Garmin Forerunner 165 watch. I’ve been wearing an Apple Watch for a little over a year now, but using the touchscreen to navigate screens and start/stop activities while running is annoyingly fiddly. The digital crown keeps getting gummed up with sunscreen and requiring cleaning, too. The Forerunner has physical buttons, and is much better at showing the data I want to see in a clear format, and letting me set things up like target pace or distance on the watch itself, instead of via a phone app. Oh, and the battery seems like it’s going to last for a week rather than a day, which is a nice change of pace.

I’m going to need to make a nice widget to show off my monthly runs and bike rides, but for now here’s some artisanal stats:

I went out for 14 runs, totalling 48km, although a significant portion of that was walking for warmup, cooldown or recovery.
My longest actual run was a 20 minute straight run covering 2.5km.
My average running pace is 8min/km, which is a “conversational” pace for me right now.
I went for 9 cycle rides: 2 on rented mountain bikes, then the rest on my own bike. They covered 128km.
When cycling I made 8 coffee shop stops, which works out to exactly one every 16km on average.

Next month I’m hoping to ramp the running up to hit 5k by the very end. I’m mostly following the NHS Couch to 5k plan but I’m tweaking it a little bit as otherwise I’d finish on 3.75km at my current pace. I guess “Couch to 30 minutes of running” isn’t quite as catchy. I made a Couch to 5k page to track my progress and adjustments.

Around the web

Blogging Can Just Be Stating The Obvious

I often look at my own posts and think, “There’s nothing novel, or important, or deep in here at all — is this even worth saying?”

I’ve written before about The Curse of Knowledge and Blogging, and this is a very similar take from Jim Nielsen, but it’s still super interesting to see a similar idea expressed in another way by another person.

I Built a Voice Opening Door to Moria (My Garage)

A YouTube video documenting a really cool project. What grabs me is the amount of disciplines he dabbles in: he’s part blacksmith, part carpenter, part electrician, part programmer, and so on. It’s one of the best examples of maker culture I’ve seen in ages.

There’s one bit in particular that sticks in my mind: he tried to find a rendering of the door online, and realised all the existing ones were gibberish or illegible, so he downloaded a font and worked out the exact inscription himself. It makes my inner perfectionist feel validated.

Linus Torvalds on AI in the Linux kernel

LLMs are very divisive, and there are a lot of unsettled moral and ethical issues. But at the end of the day they’re a tool that’s not going to go away any time soon. There are people on crusades to try and ban LLM tools in projects, boycott any projects that accept contributions, and so on. It’s a bit like militant veganism. I can understand where they’re coming from, but also please stop shouting at me. Anyway, this take from Linus seems pretty spot on to me.

Buttons

An interactive, graphical history of how buttons have been rendered in various operating systems and desktop environments over time. Maybe it’s just my age and nostalgia, but it really does feel like they peaked around the late 90s/early 2000s. I’m not quite sure why we went from elegant skeuomorphic buttons to ugly plain squares with weird accent colours when you click them.

Rotating sandwiches

For some reason I expected this to be static pictures of sandwiches which spun in a circle, but it’s actually recordings of sandwiches rotating on a turntable. It’s oddly mesmerising. I wonder why I’ve never seen a restaurant menu with gifs like that?

Monthly Meanderings: June 2026

2026-07-01T00:00:00Z

Writing these monthly posts is making me very aware of how quickly the year is going. I’m not sure I like that at all. June saw some truly horrible hot weather in the UK; it’s almost like murdering the planet with CO₂ emissions was a terrible, terrible idea.

My dodgy knee that I mentioned way back in the April post feels like it’s finally back to normal. I had low expectations of the physio service, and I’m glad to find I was utterly wrong. When I self-referred I got an e-mail the same day with some tailored exercise suggestions, and I’ve had two in-person sessions since. I managed to get some longer walks and a jog in this month, when I wasn’t camped in front of a fan to try and keep cool.

Website updates

Another month with no new posts. I’m just in one of those slumps where nothing quite takes my fancy. It’s a bit upsetting that the three most recent posts are all going to be monthly meanderings, though.

I did spend some time adding standard.site metadata and records for blog posts. In theory that means it’ll show up a bit nicer when presented on Bluesky, but I’ve not actually tested it in anger yet. As well as pretty embeds, having a standard schema for describing publications and posts feels like it could enable a lot of cool discovery/directory uses.

Other projects

Centauri, my reverse proxy, got a whole bunch of new features in response to some requests and problem reports from a friend. Mostly the changes were exposing more options for finer control over how certificates are obtained. Providers other than Let’s Encrypt require extra account details, have different rate limits, and so on.

The only other project of note this month is a new World of Warcraft addon called Who’s Got the Keys? that shows on-screen who has a keystone for the dungeon you’re currently waiting to start. I really like being able to scratch itches like that.

Entertainment

I mentioned my wax-and-wane hobby cycle last month. This month apparently films are back in for me:

There were some big surprises for me in both directions: films I expected to like such as Disclosure Day and Good Luck, Have Fun, Don’t Die absolutely missed the mark; meanwhile Midsommar I didn’t have any particular expectations of and it ended up stealing the top spot on my watched films ranked list.

Most of my other entertainment is still coming from World of Warcraft. I’m now reasonably comfortable with my spec, and my regular group of friends is well on the way to reaching a Mythic+ score of 3400 before the end of the season. Amusingly I’m currently in the top 20 for my spec on my realm, but that says more about the low population of the server than it does about my skill, I think!

My character is now about as fully geared as they’re going to get this season. There are some minor upgrades I could make but it’s not really worth it with only weeks remaining. I now also don’t get any real benefit from doing the standard open world weekly activities, so I’ve been spending a bit more time farming mounts and transmog in old content. I’ve also levelled a whole bunch of alts, but I’ve failed to find a single DPS spec I actually like. I’m now trying alternative healers just to get some variety when we do runs where we’re not pushing keys.

Around the web

Suspicious discontinuities

An old article by Dan Luu that recently resurfaced on Hacker News. It’s an interesting look at various series that have discontinuities and the reasons for those. I’m easily won over by cool graphs, so it’s not a surprise I saved this link.

Incident Report: CVE-2026-LGTM

A very funny spoof vulnerability disclosure that pokes fun at all the failure modes of LLM security tooling and the possible consequences of that.

Help I accidentally a wigglegram

Fun article where the author describes how they automatically made a bunch of “wigglegrams” (stereoscopic animated gifs) from their iCloud photo library. It’s interesting how just taking multiple versions of a photo can result in something novel like this.

Finding the Best Dog Treat with Statistics

I’m pretty sure this is actually some devious attempt to make me learn statistics, but it features a dog called Bebop, so I’m going to allow it.

Monthly Meanderings: March 2026

2026-04-01T00:00:00Z

Since last month’s update I’ve been unpleasantly reminded that I’m middle aged, through the medium of a dodgy knee. There’s nothing quite like not being able to stand up without groaning to underscore that you’re not young any more. The ongoing game of “will this seemingly mundane activity make my knee go funny again?” is a delight to play, too. I’m great at it.

Website updates

Two new blog posts this month: the longest way to represent a date is a short thought experiment on absurd date formats, and modern CSS is fun goes through some neat new CSS features I’ve used recently for this site.

I did some design tweaks this month: headers now have a blue background behind them¹, and a lot of components have been redesigned to have a consistent style. You can see that component in action in the new “now playing” widget I’ve added:

Chappell Roan — After Midnight The Rise and Fall of a Midwest Princess Scrobbled 20m ago

Instead of each component defining its own styles (which were mostly copied and pasted), there’s now a single class that handles the drop shadow, border, background colour, and the optional title. It also applies a consistent format to elements that are clickable: they use the blue accent colour for their borders, and have a glow effect shown on hover.

The now playing widget is part of a larger bit of work I did on importing some music stats. I’m pulling in the data from my Navidrome instance. A new music page shows my most listened albums and artists. Navidrome doesn’t store a complete play history, just the last play and the count, so I can’t do “what I listened to last month” stats until next month.

Other projects

Other than a minor bug-fix update to contempt, my Dockerfile templating/updating tool, I’ve not done much on my other open source projects. I’ve got a bit more work to do finish migrating all my repositories from GitHub to my private Forgejo instance. I’ve also been thinking about mirroring my public repositories to Codeberg so there’s a non-GitHub way to access them.

Entertainment

I apparently only watched a single film in March:

The Substance

2026-03-18

I really didn’t get on with this. It’s too long for what it is, and over-the-top in a way that just didn’t work for me.

Demi Moore and Margaret Qualley were great, but nothing else really was. The cinematography and sound design were too affected, the plot was pretty shallow and obvious, most of the body horror fell into the uncanny CGI valley for me.

It’s not completely without merit: there were around 40 minutes in the middle where I was really into it, but that’s not really enough given it’s closing in on a 2.5 hour runtime.

There’s something to be said for the message it’s presenting about women in Hollywood, too, but it was very heavy handed. Dennis Quaid’s character is even called Harvey; it’s not so much a subtle nod as a sledgehammer to the face.

Instead of films, I’ve been watching a bunch of TV. After devouring The Pitt last month, I struggled to find something to fill the hole it left. I settled on catching up on Chicago Fire and Chicago P.D.. They’re both mostly about getting things done without personal drama becoming the primary focus. They’re not quite as grounded as The Pitt, but at least they’ve not completely gone off the deep end like 9-1-1 where the first responders end up in space somehow?

I’ve also watched the first two episodes of SNL UK. I didn’t have very high expectations, and it gave me a pleasant surprise. Both episodes so far have some hilarious sketches, and are obviously written by British comics with the typical darker, more sardonic humour that separates us from the USA.

Last but not least, board games! I spent a weekend at a tabletop/LAN event with friends, so got to physically play some games for a change. I also kept up with some turn-based games on Board Game Arena, as usual.

6 plays
4 plays
4 plays
4 plays
3 plays
3 plays
3 plays
2 plays
2 plays
2 plays
2 plays
2 plays
1 play

Around the web

Warranty Void if Regenerated

Some really cool speculative fiction about a future where all software is written by LLMs, and the social effects that may have. Unfortunately the story itself is written with an LLM, and that becomes painfully obvious about a third of the way in. By that point I was already hooked, though.

My 2-step process for AI-free blogging

Speaking of LLM-generated text, this short piece by Manuel Moreale made me laugh. I’m by no means anti-LLM, but I really hate people publishing the output like it’s their own work. It breaks the social assumption that the writer put more effort in than the reader, and makes me wonder how much is hallucinated.

25 Years of Eggs

An interesting applied use of coding agents. I’m a sucker for personal statistics. I have no explicit desire to keep my receipts, or generate graphs of my egg consumption, but seeing the graphs makes me question that. The journey to get there is a great read, too.

I made a one-page notebook

The clever paper folding is interesting, but I really like some of the small touches on the page. There’s a nice little “in reply to” callout providing context at the top of the page, you can click to rotate the image further down, and there’s a details element containing a textual version of it. It has that great ‘small web’ vibe of someone who really cares about what they’re doing.

Workers who love ‘synergizing paradigms’ might be bad at their jobs

I haven’t read the full paper, but the summary given by the article is equal parts interesting and amusing. They developed a “Corporate Bullshit Receptivity Scale”, what more is there to say?

It’s meant to resemble painter’s tape, but I’m not sure quite how well it works. ↩︎

Modern CSS is fun

2026-03-17T00:00:00Z

I’ve been doing a bunch of CSS tweaking recently, and keep being surprised by how nice modern CSS is to work with. As someone grey-haired enough to remember writing HTML without CSS, it’s amazing to think how far along web technology has come¹. I wanted to demonstrate some of the handy bits and pieces I’ve used recently.

:has

The :has selector allows you to effectively query for child elements. While a span will match a <span> within an <a>, a:has(span) will match an <a> that contains a <span>. This really shines when combined with more complex selectors, for example:

input {
    border-radius: var(--border-radius);

    &:has(+ .results:not(:empty)) {
        border-bottom-left-radius: 0;
        border-bottom-right-radius: 0;
    }
}

This is part of the styling for my film search box. When the search box is presented initially it has fully rounded corners. But when it is followed by a non-empty results element, it removes the rounding on the bottom corners so that the border continues in a straight line down into the results. You can see it in action below; just enter a few characters (like “the”) to get some results:

You could achieve the same effect by having JavaScript add a class to the <input> element, but I’ll take a CSS solution over a JavaScript solution any day.

Nested rules

You probably spotted this in the example above. It’s what finally made me switch from SCSS to plain CSS. If you have a rule for .foo and a rule for .foo .bar you can just nest them. Not only does it save repeating yourself an awful lot, it keeps everything organised nicely. For example, the CSS for my film list embeds looks like this:

a.film-list {
    display: grid;
    grid-template-areas: "header images" "description images" "meta images";
    grid-template-columns: 1fr auto;
    grid-template-rows: auto 1fr auto;
    row-gap: var(--small-space);

    @media (width <= 800px) {
        grid-template-areas: "header" "description" "images" "meta";
        grid-template-columns: 1fr;
        grid-template-rows: auto auto auto auto;
    }

    & + & {
        margin-top: var(--medium-space);
    }

    h3 {
        font-size: var(--font-size-xxlarge);
    }

    .description {
        /* ... */
    }
}

Everything is wrapped up in a single bundle, including the @media rules for changing the layout on smaller screens, the lovely little & + & rule that adds some extra margin if there are two lists in a row, etc. The & syntax refers to the parent selector, so & + & in this case is the same as a.film-list + a.film-list: it’s very handy! The best part about this is that it’s the exact same syntax as SCSS, so converting is easy². The styled element looks like this:

Watched films ranked

Every film I’ve watched since I started logging, ranked.

Obviously super subjective, and subject to change often and arbitrarily.

264 films

Media range syntax

Once again, you might have spotted this in the previous snippet. I’m not deliberately teasing things, I promise! Back in the day, you did media queries like so:

@media (min-width: 1000px) and (max-width: 2000px) {
    /* some rules that work for screens at least 1000px wide and at most 2000px wide */
}

I always hated this syntax. I always got muddled up as to whether I wanted “min” or “max”, and whether they were inclusive or not. It’s easy to reason through, but it never came naturally. Fortunately you can now just use ranges:

@media (1000px <= width <= 2000px) {
    /* some rules that work for screens at least 1000px wide and at most 2000px wide */
}

I find this style so much easier to write and understand.

Anchor positioning

Trying to dynamically position one element next to another used to exclusively fall within the purview of JavaScript. Fortunately anchor positioning fixes all this. I use this in the film search field I showed above:

.film-search {
    input {
        anchor-name: --film-search-box;
    }
    .results {
        position: absolute;
        position-anchor: --film-search-box;
        position-area: bottom center;
        position-visibility: always;
        width: anchor-size();
    }
}

This does lots of fun things. The .results element is anchored to the input field (via the --film-search-box name), and it’s positioned on the bottom, directly under the anchor. The position-area rule describes a 3x3 grid, with the anchor at the center, so top left would put it diagonally adjacent to the anchor. Next, position-visibility keeps the .results element visible when the anchor isn’t; otherwise when you scroll the anchor off the screen the results would immediately vanish. Finally, the special anchor-size() function makes the .results element take up the same exact width as the anchor.

All-in-all, this puts the results exactly where I want them, without having to deal with any JavaScript at all. I can see how it’d also be amazingly useful trying to do tooltips or other forms of ‘floating’ content too. You can even leave the positioning up to the browser, giving it hints about which order to try, or what property to optimise for (e.g. you can say “anchor to the left or right, whichever has more horizontal space”).

attr() function

This one blew my mind a little. In some of the elements on the site, I’ve added a little label to the top. It looks something like this:

It’s meant to just be a visual flourish, not a semantic title or anything, so I initially just added a ::before selector to each element, customising the content to have the right value. I didn’t like the duplication, though. Now, instead, I do this:

&::before {
    content: attr(data-title);
}

Each component defines its title in a data attribute: <div class="raised-box" data-title="an example">, and the attr function plucks it out and puts it in the content rule. It’s worth noting that this is only widely supported for the content rule, you can’t yet use it for colours or dimensions or other things. It still feels a bit magical, though. Like you’re making a reusable, customisable component with just HTML and CSS.

layers

I’d come across layers a few times, but I never found a need for them. It seemed like something you’d only really need with complicated design systems, or something. Then I had a problem and layers were the perfect solution!

The headings on this site have a whole bunch of CSS attached to them. Currently they look a bit like blue painter’s tape with handwriting on them. This style is applied to all headers, and then the various places that don’t want it had to manually reset everything. I got fed up with that, so decided to add a plain-header class which would “disable” the extra styling:

h2,
h3,
h4,
h5,
h6 {
    /* common styles for all headers, regardless */
    font-family: "Chris Hand", sans-serif;
    font-size: var(--font-size-xxlarge);
    color: var(--text-highlight-colour);
    margin: var(--medium-space) 0;
    line-height: 1;

    &:not(.plain-header) {
        /* do fancy stuff if it _doesn't_ have the .plain-header class */
        transform: rotate(-0.15deg);
        padding: var(--smedium-space);
        font-weight: 800;
        filter: drop-shadow(3px 3px 5px rgb(0, 0, 0));

        a {
            background: none;
            text-decoration-skip-ink: auto;
        }
    }
}

This might seem a bit backwards but I want the default to be styled, as those are far more common. I added this change, sprinkled around some “plain-header” classes, tidied up a lot of duplicate CSS, and things mostly worked. Mostly. Some things stopped working. In a few places the headers had slight tweaks, and they stopped working entirely.

It turns out in moving the rules from a plain h2 selector to a h2:not(.plain-header), I’d made them more specific. Previously a selector like h2.special would have been more specific, so its properties would override those from the less specific h2 selector. My first reaction was to try and hack around it. Changing all the overrides to body h2.special would make them more specific again, but I didn’t want to have to remember to do that forever more.

Instead, I defined some custom layers, and put the header definitions in one:

@layer reset, links, headings

@layer headings {
    h2,
    h3 {
        /* etc */
    }
}

The first @layer rule defines some layers that will be handled in a specific order: first the “reset” layer, then the “links” layer, then the “headings” layer, and then anything not in a layer after that. Rules in one layer don’t have to worry about beating the specificity of rules in another layer, because they’re handled separately.

Note that I couldn’t just put the headings in a layer and call it a day: their rules have to come after the CSS reset, and after the normal link styles, as headers have a bit of extra styling for nested links. If the CSS reset weren’t in a layer, then the * { margin: 0; padding: 0; } type reset would apply over the rules from the headings layer.

Using layers is definitely a bit fiddly, and is not necessary for a lot of sites, but it’s a much cleaner alternative to ugly specificity hacking.

Things I’m looking forward to

There are a few things that aren’t (widely) available yet, that particularly interest me:

sibling-index() and sibling-count()

These new functions are available in WebKit and Blink based browsers, but not Firefox. They give you the index of the element within its siblings, or the count of siblings. For the film list component above, I currently have this abomination for the overlapping posters:

&:nth-child(1) {
    z-index: 5;
    left: 0;
}
&:nth-child(2) {
    z-index: 4;
    left: calc(133px * var(--overlap) * 1);
}
&:nth-child(3) {
    z-index: 3;
    left: calc(133px * var(--overlap) * 2);
}
&:nth-child(4) {
    z-index: 2;
    left: calc(133px * var(--overlap) * 3);
}
&:nth-child(5) {
    z-index: 1;
    left: calc(133px * var(--overlap) * 4);
}

These could be replaced with something like:

z-index: calc(1 + sibling-count() - sibling-index());
left: calc(133px * var(--overlap) * (sibling-index() - 1));

As an added bonus, it would scale to any number of posters. index being 1-based not 0-based is a bit unfortunate as it makes using it in calculations awkward (see 1 offset in both of those rules!), but it’s leagues better than writing 5 separate rules.

random()

Currently only available in Safari. There are a few places where I’d like to have slight random variations of the style. Things like elements that are rotated slightly for aesthetics; they look a bit silly if they’re all identically positioned. I also randomise the icons and positions of my rating stars to break up the visual monotony. Here are a few examples:

Currently I do the stars by hardcoding a bunch of classes and having the backend randomly apply one when it generates the markup for stars. Being able to do it in CSS would be great, though.

Mixins

This one’s so far off it’s not even listed on caniuse.com yet. Mixins are another handy feature of SCSS, that allow you to define reusable blocks of rules, then import them when needed:

@mixin fancy-background {
    background: /*...*/;
}

.some-element {
    @include fancy-background;
}

#other-element {
    @include fancy-background;
}

This would be particularly useful if you can’t easily control the markup to add classes to everything. For example, my footnotes are rendered by a markdown plugin, and don’t easily have a way to add extra classes to them. To style it the same as another element, I currently duplicate a bunch of rules between them both. Mixins would allow me to define those rules once, and then import them in both places.

Aside from JavaScript, which seems to just endlessly reinvent new frameworks and ways to make the most sprawling dependency tree possible. ↩︎
It also means that if your website’s syntax highlighting library doesn’t seem to understand nested rules, you can just pretend your perfectly valid CSS is actually SCSS and it’ll magically work. Grumble, grumble. ↩︎

The longest way to represent a date

2026-03-14T00:00:00Z

The other day, someone on IRC posed this question: “What is the longest way to represent a date using any means possible that isn’t just repeated filler?”

Some people jumped for writing the date out in languages that had longer translations. My immediate reaction was instead to suggest an obnoxious string-based representation of a unix timestamp: “one second after one second after one second after … midnight on January 1st 1970”. It’s very repetitive, but it’s not filler: taking out any of the repetitions would change the value. Effectively it’s a successor function for unix timestamps, writ long. Some quick napkin maths suggests the full string representation would be around 30GiB¹.

An obvious approach to make it bigger is to make it more precise. If we do the same sort of successor function for milliseconds it’d be a bit over 1000x longer². It actually ends up being just over 35TiB³.

There’s no reason to stop there, though. You can step down to microseconds, nanoseconds, and so on… or… we can just skip right to the end. How about: “one oscillation of the caesium-133 hyperfine transition frequency after one oscillation of the caesium-133 hyperfine transition frequency after … midnight on January 1st 1970”? There are over 9 billion of those every second, and the phrasing is wordy. That comes out to almost 1ZiB⁴. If we pooled all the data storage on the planet together we could save a couple hundred of these timestamps.

One final step, then: why use the unix epoch when we could use the universe’s own⁵? We’re something around 4×10^17 seconds past the big bang, so… hold on, I need to look up some units… that’d be over 200,000 yobibytes⁶. There’s not actually a standard prefix for that order of magnitude, according to Wikipedia. I think it should be 200 robibytes. Does anyone have a contact at the IEC?

That is a big number. Is it impossibly big? If we wanted to track our current time, we’d need to write around 600GiB/s⁷ to disk. That’s a bit more than we can manage at the minute, but isn’t completely outrageous. What about storage? Apparently hard drives require around a million atoms to store a bit of data. There’s some research showing it’s possible to use as few as 12, but I don’t think it’s anything that can be used at scale anytime soon⁸. So just for the direct data storage, not counting all the other infrastructure you need for a disk drive to work we’d need around 10^36 atoms. If we sourced our atoms for our local paperclip maximiser we’d need around 200 trillion paperclips. For just one timestamp.

On the plus side, this timestamp format would compress wonderfully.

17 bytes of repetition * 1773528583 seconds ~= 3×10^10. ↩︎
There’d be a thousand times more repetitions, and each one would have the extra five bytes from the “milli” prefix. ↩︎
22 bytes of repetition * 1773528583000 milliseconds ~= 3×10^13. ↩︎
72 bytes of repetition * 1773528583 seconds * 9192631770 oscillations per second ~= 1×10^21. ↩︎
Other than it being impractical, not known to a decent accuracy, and the myriad other problems, of course. ↩︎
72 bytes of repetition * 4×10^17 seconds * 9192631770 oscillations per second ~= 3×10^29. ↩︎
72 bytes of repetition * 9192631770 oscillations per second ~= 6×10^11. ↩︎
Not that we could scale conventional drives up this much, either. ↩︎