Chameth.com

We are calling about your warranty,
and to give you a complete guarantee
that if you give us the authority
to check out your eligibility,
then you will be our priority.
If you go ahead with alacrity
we'll even throw in the amenity
of a dictionary that's most hefty.
In it you'll find words and rhymes a plenty,
which you can use most intransigently.
Your supervisor might get uppity,
but just say they lend credibility.
So, would you like extended warranty?

I wanted to do something about absurdly over the top rhyming in a weird situation, and the “we’ve been trying to reach you about your car’s extended warranty” meme came to mind. The “intransigently” rhyme is pushing it a bit, but it’s such a great word I crowbarred it in, anyway.